I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
