Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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