i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
