Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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