Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
