The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
