The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
