i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
