hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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