in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
