I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so let's talk penis.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
