I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
