And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
