I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
