That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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