was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
