Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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