Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
