Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The air was thick with penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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