dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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