i was born a porn star she said
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
