i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't deserve a penis
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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