I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize