I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
