when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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