We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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