WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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