i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I love you.
Bad choice
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
