We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We left the knife in your bed.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
