Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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