I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
