I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
