I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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