I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
