I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she woke up with a sticky ear
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
