i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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