All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize