I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
