he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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