I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
