If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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