If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize