he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
