If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
