I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
