I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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