we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
