I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
