Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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