Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
