We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
