Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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