I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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