we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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